Suzanne's Second Estate

A web log of my thoughts, activities, life....

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My Single Identity Baggage


From "My Single Identity Baggage" (new on Boundless today):

An old friend called me on my birthday to wish me a happy one. Though we no longer share the same biblical worldview, he and I are at a similar spot in life — early 30s, unmarried. We used to attend the same youth group, and one time we almost went golfing on a date. (My parents decided against it at the last moment.)

As my friend and I talked and reminisced our conversation fell to our single plight (deep down we all want things like marriage and family). "It used to be really simple," my friend said with a laugh. By "it" he meant establishing a romantic relationship. (He was engaged his senior year of college, but it fell through.)

"Now I've lost confidence in my ability to choose," he said. "I know how I am. I know all these things about myself, and I know what won't work for me. I almost know too much about myself."

I knew exactly what he meant. In the eight years since college, I've accumulated more than a house full of photographs, furniture and dishes that aren't plastic — I've developed a fairly complex identity. And honestly, finding someone who's a fit seems like a much more difficult task than it used to.


Read more....

8 Comments:

At 8:28 AM, Anonymous Kelsey said...

This is a great article Suz. Definitely helped me out today :)

 
At 10:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this was really great, suzanne. it gave me a lot to think about. i'm only 19, so it's wonderful to hear this perspective BEFOREHAND!!
hope you have a joyful day!
love,
heidi

 
At 12:23 PM, OpenID dancebythelight said...

Great article, Suzanne!

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger Bekah said...

Good article Suz. =)

 
At 3:20 PM, Blogger Lore said...

Great article! Solid thoughts about singleness without egocentric pinings. I loved it.

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger cathryn said...

Great insights! While I'm not sure I agree that "deep down we all want things like marriage and family", I do think your assessment of 30-something singles relying on their "baggage" is spot on! Really enjoyed reading this :)

 
At 8:16 PM, Blogger Amber said...

Great insight--I've never thought of it that way!

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Becky said...

I agree with all the other comments. I loved this article.

 

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