Stop Test-Driving

“How do I know if she’s the one?”

With this question, Michael Lawrence, Associate Pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church, launches into his article, “Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend.”

I can't think of a question I encounter more often among single Christian men. The point of the question is clear enough. But a rich irony dwells beneath the question. In a culture that allows us to choose the person we're going to marry, no one wants to make the wrong choice. Especially if, as Christians, we understand that the choice we make is a choice for life.

The question is not merely ironic. If what you're after is a marriage that will glorify God and produce real joy for you and your bride, it's also the wrong question. That's because the unstated goal of the question is "How do I know if she's the one ... for me."

While I think both men and women are guilty of obsessing over the question of "the one," I have observed that guys in particular seem paralyzed by it. They will often say things like, “I love her, but I don’t see myself marrying her” or “she seems perfect, but there's something missing.” The girl usually doesn't share the sentiment (or she wouldn't be in a relationship with him). Lawrence’s article addresses some of the fears guys experience and reveals the consumerist motives that drive them. Whether you're a guy or girl, I recommend giving this article a test-drive.